Codependency can be difficult to understand…
Codependency has a profound effect on peoples’ lives. Understanding codependency and identifying its indicators is essential for cultivating more positive relationships, especially when addiction is involved.
Codependency usually occurs when one person’s identity and sense of self-worth become entwined with another’s.
Unfortunately, it might be difficult to recognize codependent behaviors because they can be confused with supportive and caring actions.
Codependency is when we have an insufficient relationship with ourselves, which means we are not very good at identifying our own feelings, thoughts, preferences or needs. This often results in tending to focus on what other people feel or need. This is driven by good intentions but has some damaging outcomes. Trying to manage a relationship with a substance user often exacerbates these tendencies as we try to figure out how to be helpful to someone we love who is struggling.
The following patterns and warning signs could point to a codependent relationship, such as:
- Overly People-Pleasing: Continually putting the needs and wants of others ahead of one’s own, frequently at the cost of one’s own wellbeing.
- Difficulty Setting Boundaries: The inability to set and uphold healthy boundaries results in shame or resentment when one’s own boundaries are crossed.
- Low Self-Esteem: Low self-esteem is the result of suffering with emotions of inadequacy or unworthiness when there is a lack of external validation and depending on it to feel worthy.
- Fear of Abandonment: Extreme fear or distress brought on by the idea of being left behind or alone, which might manifest as controlling or clinging behaviors.
- Mood Swings and Emotional Instability: Having intense emotional highs and lows, frequently because of a relationship’s shifting dynamics.
When these things exist, along with addiction issues, it can be crucial to seek out the support and care of an experienced therapist in the Chapel Hill, North Carolina area.
At Serenity4U, I am proud to offer counseling for those dealing with codependency in Chapel Hill, Carrboro, Hillsborough, Pittsboro, Durham, and Raleigh, North Carolina.